Do you often find yourself struggling under a constant amount of stress? If you say yes, then you are not alone. In this hyper-connected and hyper-busy lifestyle, we are under a mental restlessness. Our thoughts never seem to stop just like the cars on a busy road. This scenario is scary to imagine but it is what our daily life looks like. As stress is a major cause of a number of mental and physical disorders and weak memory, building resilience is the critical need of the hour.
If we understand the amount of stress we are under and the effect it has on our daily life, only then we can take adequate measures to reduce it. The main goal of eliminating stress is to lead a healthy, content, and resilient life. And this is only possible if you take steps for building resilience. It is worth noting that resilient doesn’t mean dodging all adverse conditions but rather dealing with them.
But before blindly taking the steps and expecting instant results, remember that resilience is all about the mindset. The right mindset will help you tackle even the toughest problems. And it takes a lot of effort and time to form behavior and mindset. However, the process can be made simpler if you follow these researched-backed steps in your quest for building resilience.
Open up to change: The first step in building resilience
Do you find yourself doing the same things and allow negativity to pass in? It is quite shocking how so many people do it. As for them, life is on an auto-pilot mode. They are driven by a stubborn type of thinking and mindset. In short, they are ignorant to change. But here is the major part that contrasts: Growth and change always go side by side.
If you sit back and identify that a critical part of your life is filled with ignorant actions and thoughts, certainly you will find areas of improvement. Remember, you are the author of your own life. Thus you can shift your life from being unhealthy, exhausting, and unproductive to a life of your dreams. And the only way of doing so is to consider new scripts for your life, infuse new actions, fresh thoughts and become an active participant in this game of life.
Building resilience by being stress-hardy:
Stress hardy people are the ones who are open to change and uncertainty. They fill their lives with purpose and meaning by doing the things that add value in their life. Rather than just passing and counting on days, they move out of their comfort zone and actually try out different aspects of life.
In addition, they see each difficulty or a problem as a normal part of life. As compared to stressed-out people, stressed hardy people don’t sit and lament on their fortune. Rather they get up and work to fight that problem. You should also try to become stress-hardy and must differentiate between the things which you can control and which you cannot.
As an activity, make a list of five things in your life that you want to see different. Now, next to each item specify whether someone else has to change it for you or not. If you, in this process, discover that your happiness is based on other people then it’s a wake-up call. This means that you have been waiting for a long time to be happy. Instead of this, you can start focusing your energy on the aspects of life that you can improve yourself.
Equipping a new perspective helps in building resilience
We live in our world of complex overlays of perception of ourselves, others and the world. And because of this, our attitude tends to deny different thoughts or mindset that sets us on a challenging path. You should understand that to a certain scenario or a problem there can be a thousand ways to look at it. Consequently, your fate will depend upon how you see it. Your perspective is the first step in building resilience.
Resilient people develop fulfilling relationships all their life because they are flexible in their perspective. They are ready to wear the other person’s shoes to understand their point of view better. If you do otherwise and be stubborn in your thoughts, then you are welcoming no-one with your whole heart.
The cornerstone of this journey of building resilience is developing empathy for others. Simply stated, to be able to understand their viewpoint without any judgment. You can start by asking yourself: “Do I behave in the same way as I want others to behave with me?” or “Does my attitude motivates others to listen to me and respond peacefully?”
If you want to nurture and develop a strong resilient mindset then you must be willing to accept yourself as well as others. In general, acceptance is possessing realistic goals and recognizing your strengths, weakness as well as your vulnerabilities to lead a balanced life.
To develop any level of empathy for others, you must develop it for yourself first. And that happens when you accept your mistakes, encourage your good deeds and embrace your flaws. By accepting yourself as a human who can be wrong and weak too, you are reducing that extra mental pressure off your mind to be perfect all the time.
To start, make a list of the top five goals you want to achieve and determine how much of your time and energy is required to get to them. In addition to providing you a good plan, this activity will also enable you to reflect upon what you really want to that leads to fulfillment.
Consequently, as you learn to accept yourself and embrace your weakness, you will be able to figure out and remove all the factors that are potential roadblocks in your journey of building resilience.
Self-control and self-discipline are tools to build a resilient life:
Self-control and self-discipline are subtly involved in almost every aspect of our life. When we reflect before we act, think before we speak and develop empathy, we are moving towards a rational mindset. Think of the time when you controlled your anger and stopped it from erupting out on a person? Chances are, you have handled the situation a lot better when you had kept your calm.
Consider self-control and self-discipline as the two pillars of resilient living. You can start practicing them in the following ways:
- Accept yourself the way you are. Embrace your weaknesses, vulnerabilities, and mistakes.
- Accept the ownership of your attitude and behavior.
- Don’t let your instant convictions lead you to a decision. Rather, be at peace and reflect upon the best possible solution to a problem.
BONUS TIP: Practice meditation and mindfulness daily.
All the above ways are void and hold no power to change your life if you are not self-aware. In simple words, you can’t change anything if you can’t see it. That means you can’t change your thoughts and behavior if you aren’t aware of it. Hence, becoming self-aware is so key to develop and infuse self-awareness as a solid trait in ourselves.
To get started, first remove any common misinterpretation you have of self-awareness. It’s not something that requires you to be a saint and travel to mountains. Rather, it is all about being conscious of yourself. In your daily life, take note of your feeling, your thoughts, your behavior. Start to question yourself: “Why do I need to restrict this emotion?”
It is only when we open our eyes can we the world that needs a change.